Letter for me – Feeling tired and hopeless

Going somewhere for a week and then returning to Hanoi to continue my job search – is it an okay plan? The last two unsuccessful interviews have drained all my energy, and to add to that, I haven’t received any reply from my old boss yet. I sent them an email to ask if there is any chance I can come back to the team. It has been one week. I understand that “no reply” carries its own message. My life feels totally hopeless right now.

Why it so difficult to keep a positive attitude? What should I do now?

I don’t want to be a human or anything. I really want that I don’t exist in any types of materials so that I don’t have to suffer. Life is suffering and difficult for me.

Looking at life from a different perspective, it’s like a game. Why not play along? Remember the game Snake and Bomb? It might seem boring. You have to control the snake, maneuvering it left, right, up, and down to reach the bomb as quickly as possible before it disappears. The faster you reach the bomb, the higher your score. The funny thing is, the snake gets longer each time it reaches the bomb. As it eats more and more bombs, your score increases, but the snake also grows longer. The interesting part is that the snake is confined to a small screen – your old legendary Nokia 1280. The game may seem too easy and dull compared to the multitude of games available today. Yet, I played it a thousand times without getting bored. Why? It’s because of the dopamine. I always aimed to have the longest snake. I played intensely and obsessively, even causing the keys on my old phone to blur. I wanted my snake to be longer than the previous one.

Life is full of unexpected surprises, even in moments that may appear mundane or discouraging. For me, ORT is the ultimate place to be, and if I can’t return to work there, my life will feel unfulfilled. But let’s remain optimistic and see what the future holds.